Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
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