I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize