The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
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