my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
