did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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