Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
her facebook's as public as her vagina
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
