I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
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