shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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