You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
True strength comes from lack of pants
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
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