no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Randomize
