i think my mom watched the whole time
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
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