how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
I forget how to act sober
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
