My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
Randomize
