i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize
