Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
Randomize
