I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
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