sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Randomize
