You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Randomize
