Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
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