Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
third nipple confirmed
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize
