dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
My vagina just clenched in fear
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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