Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
