I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
Can you repeat that, but with context?
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
Randomize
