I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Randomize
