no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I can't trust your balls anymore.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize
