the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
I like my sex mixed with concussions.
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
