I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
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