The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
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