We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Randomize
