Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
Randomize
