From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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