we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Randomize
