girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
Randomize
