Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
