What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
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