got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Randomize
