omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
Randomize
