This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
Randomize