Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Randomize
