So drunk, too bad you don't want this
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Randomize
