one two three fourrrrnication!
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
