Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
zippers are such a cool invention
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
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