Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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