He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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