your room smells of hookers.
And success
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
Randomize
