Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Randomize
