Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
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