I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
