Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
Sober January is a disaster.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
