that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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