You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
