is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Randomize
