Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
She even gives head with a lisp.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
