I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
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