I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
