The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
