they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize