no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
I said "one day" and that day is not today
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
Randomize
