Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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