is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
There's a naked man in my car right now.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
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