Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize