We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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