Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
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