I got her a Nickelback box set.
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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