I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
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