Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
Randomize
