how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
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