Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
I am spending my child support on dildos
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Randomize
