even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
He's on the porch naked. Help.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
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