I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
Randomize
