So drunk, too bad you don't want this
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
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