She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
Randomize
