whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Randomize
