could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
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