Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
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