Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
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